What the Empress Tarot Card taught me about Motherhood
by Diana Chin
Being a mother isn't easy. Anyone that tells you that it's a breeze is full of crap. And the kind of crap that I usually clean up is my own son's diaper when he's constipated. I knew what I was getting myself into when I found out that I was pregnant. Nothing feels more magical knowing that you'll be giving birth to a small miracle. But it also comes with a price.
During my pregnancy, I had to put my shop on a hiatus in performing readings to others. The most I did was film my videos every week on my YouTube channel. As crazy as it sounds, I was afraid that if I were to perform readings to others while pregnant, I didn't want to absorb any external energies to my baby. Being an empath, I needed to ground myself consistently without feeling like I'm about to lose my mind. It's like having mood swings times 100 when you're always feeling the emotions of others.
After my birth, I was told that I needed to recover and not to put myself in any stressful situations. Kind of hard to follow when one is accustomed to being active and taking care of the household. When my son was born, I felt an array of emotions - joy, shock, confused and depressed. I wasn't depressed because of knowing the fact that I became a mother. I was sad because I felt that I was unprepared for the consequences. During the "fourth trimester" (basically the three months after you give birth to your kid), I had to decode my son's crying, his moods, and when it was the best time to change his diaper. In a programming language, it's known as debugging. Of course, the kid didn't come with a manual, so that makes it a lot harder. Thankfully, I did receive help which took some of the load off.
When I had some downtime for myself, I decided to do a tarot reading for myself and asked my spirit guides "What do I need to cope with my current role as a mother." The Empress card pulled up, and I just sat there to stare at the imagery. Somewhere within that time, I feel like I was in a trance because it felt like the Empress was speaking to me. Not saying that I saw her mouth move, but just hearing the voice alone did give me comfort.
The Empress card gave me a sense of hope in knowing that I'm not expected to have all of the answers. It also reinforced the idea of providing unconditional love towards my child. At the same time, I needed to provide my self-care. Yes, it's great to have help. However, I still need to give myself the extra push on feeling a bit more human. It can be done. Of course, there will be moments where I'll neglect my manicure and makeup. Looking at the Empress card, she gave me a reason why I should rule motherhood with a matter of grace, tenacity and a nurturing body. The only thing the Empress forgot to mention was that I should deserve a bottle of red wine to cope with the tantrums of a baby. But I think she probably emphasized the "nurturing body" pretty heavily.
Diana is a writer who combines her various career experiences (web designer, CX specialist, social media manager, beauty influencer and tarot reader) into a cohesive and practical voice where she genuinely share her experiences. Since 2014, Diana's written work has appeared in Fierce by mitú, Medium, She Owns It, and others.