The Fool's Journey, The Hermit's Gaze
by Marlena Craig
There are times of my life that I often remember in fragments. For me, memories are like film. I can remember the smells of certain spaces, the energetic imprints of dead spaces that my human self often just walked through. The strongest ones sink me deepest.
For those who don't know, my older sister passed at the young age of 32, from sepsis and kidney failure. For me, she was my Hero, indestructible. All heart, there she was. A piece of me went when she did and suddenly, here I was. Alone. People often don't tell you how heavy grief seizes you. The tender spots of a magical soul are often formed by extreme circumstances. Trauma forms us in ways we cannot understand. It numbs us so deeply. Who heals the broken-hearted?
For me, it started after struggling through a rough 3-year dark night of the soul. Moving 5 times, living with people who only saw me as another source of income. Why not go home? My mother had effectively disowned me due to what she perceived as my abandonment of her during my sister's illness. I never let on to those who knew me about how deeply that stung. All I knew was to self-medicate with reading tarot, talking out loud to my spirits and my sister.
It was when they all answered, that I began healing. From angel numbers, clairaudience and clairvoyance... It only got stronger the more I stilled myself. The Fool and I were one and the same. But just like him, his companion is always right by his side. Trauma may have formed me, but getting connected to all of my spirits saved me. Shortly after, I moved to New York City for the first time. Walking through Harlem, I stopped in front of a building to tie my shoe. Once I looked up, I saw the name of the building.
The Corinne. Spelled exactly like my sister's name.
My sister had made it very well known that upon healing, she had wanted to move to NYC and become an officer.
She did one better.
She became my foundation.
Marlena Craig is an NYC based tarot reader who specializes in erotic readings and no-nonsense personal growth consultations. As a queer black woman, Marlena advocates for the LGBTQIA community through her nomadic experiences. She is the founder of Warm Blunt Tarot.